You’re jewish and engaged to be married, so now you will need a ketubah. You’ve found one online. Check. Now you have to get it personalized, and that’s where it can get a bit mystifying! Of course, there’s the basic information that, if you don’t know it already, you’re in deep weeds–such as the bride and groom’s names, the date of your ceremony, and where it is taking place. But it can get mighty complex as you go further to hebrew names, etc.
So here are the 5 best tricks to make sure your ketubah is properly personalized.
1) Ask your rabbi or cantor to personalize the ketubah! OK, not “actually” personalize the ketubah itself (have you SEEN his or her handwriting?) but complete the information for the ketubah artist or calligrapher. Seriously, the fastest way to have your ketubah personalized the right way is to let your rabbi or cantor complete the form provided by your ketubah artist or vendor.
2) Don’t create Hebrew names. If any party is not jewish, you should not create a hebrew name for that person. Instead, have your name transliterated–phonetically spelled out in hebrew characters. And if you’re jewish with a yiddush name, ask your officiant if you can use that or if he or she will require you to use an equivalent Hebrew name instead (e.g. Sarah instead of Sorah).
3) Stick to your parents. In Hebrew, your name typically reads: “Rachel, daughter of Joshua and Sarah.” Of course, your father, Joshua, is technically “Joshua, son of Samuel and Rivka,” and your mother “Sarah, daughter of Abraham and Talia.” But just stick to your parents. Saying “Rachel, daughter of Joshua, son of Samuel and Rivka, and Sarah, daughter of Abraham and Talia” is just too much. So leave your grandparents out. If you wish to leave parents out altogether, that’s an option for you as well. And typically just first (and middle, if you like) names are used – no last names.
4) Before or after sunset. Unlike our days, Hebrew days begin and end at sundown. So when figuring out the hebrew date for your ketubah, it will be determined by whether the ceremony is before or after sunset.
5) Details, details for a Conservative or Orthodox wedding? There are more details to provide, including the bride’s “status” (whether this is the bride’s first marriage–or more technically, whether she is a virgin–or if she’s been married before and divorced or widowed, and if she’s converted), if either the bride or groom’s fathers are levite or cohain (if you don’t know, typically it means “no”), and whether your officiant wants the ‘regal’ – the descending part of the letter in the ‘koof’ – in the word ‘v’kaninah’ to be filled in or left out. Let’s make it easy – talk to your officiant about these items for personalizing your traditional ketubah text.
It’s always a good idea to consult your rabbi or cantor, but with these suggestions, your ketubah should be personalized the right way.
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