If you received an invitation to a traditional Japanese wedding, or if you are very curious to find out more about wedding traditions in general, you will find that there are some wonderful things about a Japanese wedding ceremony that distinguish it from other similar occasions. A Japanese wedding could be Buddhist, Shinto, or Christian in nature, or it might be specifically non-religious. The style of a wedding often has more to do with the couple’s tastes than their religious beliefs.
Traditional Japanese weddings are named Shinto style weddings; these ceremonies are private, and are preformed in shrines. Only intimate families participate in a Shinto wedding, but sometimes there will be an older couple that are invited to the ceremony in order to serve as the matchmakers. The ceremony includes rituals such as drinking sake and in a more modern form the exchanging of wedding rings. The bride and groom’s families will exchange drinks of sake as well to demonstrate that the two families are now as one. Japanese brides wear a shiromuku, a white kimono, for wedding dresses, while the grooms will wear montsuki, a formal black kimono, and the wide legged trousers known as hakama.
When the service has ended at the Shinto shrine, there is often a reception celebration, where the extended family, friends, and colleagues will be invited to celebrate the wedding. Guests typically dress formally, and it is common to see women wearing suits as well as kimono to this event.
It is expected that a Japanese wedding invitation is replied to almost immediately and it is imperative to not forget that a gift of money is neccessary. If a specific amount is asked for, then you give what is indicated on the invitation card, or depending on your intimacy with the couple, you can give more or less, if you choose; usually, the closer you are – the more you would give. It is standard to give the cash in crisp new bills, which are put into an envelope, named shugi-bukuro, and your name is nicely printed on the front of it. The guests even get a gift at a Japanese wedding, usually a memento known as hikidemono is given, and nowadays guests would be allowed to pick their gift from a catalogue.
The wedding reception is normally a very charming affair, where the new couple sits on a stage and many people sing songs of celebration or congratulations for them. There is usually a Western style wedding cake and in most cases the couple will stroll all over the room to light candles and to greet the guests. Rather than staying in their formal wedding dress, the bride will likely change into a less formal kimono.
A Japanese wedding can take customs from a lot of different cultures and traditions, and it is just as possible to see Japanese brides wearing elegant Western wedding dresses as it is to see them in a formal white kimono and elaborate headdress. When invited to a Japanese wedding, a good idea would be to ask what is suitable and what the couple’s expectations are from the guests. No matter where you are from, though, you will find that a wedding is a way to help a happy couple celebrate their joy.
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